Forest~Joyce

Another busy week is here.Lucky next week chinese new year.These few days really unlucky lor.Will not say why.
Maths test, got back the paper today.Really must go bang wall le.So many careless mistakes lor.Feel like slapping myself lor.Wonder how could i not be so careless next time, think it will be quite impossible.
Tomorrow got meeting, wonder how will the sec2s behave hope they will be good.Cause i will only be there to say a few lines and then go practise drills le.
I am totally obessed with marching nowadays.My marching sux but i love it anyway.So, must practise more to improve.Cause parade need to march so must march nicely or else not very good lor.
Ok, crap enough today le...
lhlj signing off...

The training for the NP parade is very tiring.Reached home at nine today,so late lor.However, go for the training can learn lots of new things la.That Jufri is totally lame today lor, OMG, he made us laugh like mad when we are on our way to the MRT.It is like he stopped there suddenly when he said he is walking the other way and me HL and Ash is like standing there and wondering why he stop there.Then i go and ask him and he pointed to me the signpost that has the word STOP on it.It's like... dunno how to say la.ANyway i just laughed like mad lor.
Yar, i saw that sgs guy at the training.Never thought that he will go lor and that hougang one.Well, its like one is so cute and the latter is so cool lor.I thought that i will only see them again at sec3 ATC.First saw them at sec2 ATC last year and the sgs guy is in my group and the hougang one is in HL's group.Then,saw them again at the SANA course and now see them at the training for the parade.Is like will see them every week for three months until the actual parade.
Ok, thats all today le.

I am going for the NPCC day parade.Which means that i will miss the trainings in school and go to the police academy to train for the parade instead.Going to miss about 13 trainings i think.Then also got CCA points.Hehe.I think i am lucky to be able to go as this is a once in a life time chance.There will not be any other chances for me to take part in the parade if i miss this chance.So, i decided to go though my drills are not very good.I like marching very much too although i don't really like static drills.Anyway, i am going for the parade.
Friday got two tests.Maths and geography.Think will surely do badly for one of them.Should be geography that i will do badly in as i don't really know that well on Foldings and Faultings.Yar, this friday first training for the parade, hope it will not be too tiring.
Ok, thats all today.
~Forest~

I just have this feeling that the whole world is going against me today.Why are there so many hypocrites and backstabbers in this world??I don't understand why people like to be like this.Yar, i knew that people often wear a mask to hide their true self but some of them puts on a nice mask to cover up their hideos face.It does not matter though but i just can't understnd why people tend to believe such people without finding out the hideous face behind the beautifully made mask.
Well, i think i must be on fever again, talking bout such things.*sigh*Suddenly felt stressful because of all the things happened in the past few days.What had happened to me!!So much homework, so much things to handle and so much problems for me to solve.What am i supposed to do??
Ok this is about all today...
Joyce signing off...

Yeah, my fever had gone but there is still cough and flu for me.Well, i am really bored these days.Nothing much to do except homework, sleeping and eating.Well,i do not count those hours studying aas things to do as it is a daily rountine for many people.I am sure that if we are given a choice, no one would like to go to school and study every day for 6-8 hours.
I am really BORED, never ever had i been this bored last year.Anyway, i am a BoReD PeRsOn...BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How i hope i can have something fun to do.*Sigh*
There are 35 'unlucky' people get into np this year.Think will be busy after the sec ones came in.Cause have to plan for POP.We sec 3s have to plan it and to supervise sec 1s and 2s and also have our own performance to handle.At least i rather do these things than have nothing to do at all and be BORED.
This post is written by a BORED person as you can see...
~Forest~BOred...

I want to die le.Have fever, cough and flu.I am serious about it, i am really sick.At about 6 plus i felt that my forehead is hot then i go take my temperature.My temperature was 37.7 at first and 37.8 after an hour.I thought it will be ok after a sleep but i am wrong.Now my temperature is 39.3.OMG!!!High Fever!!!My body was like on fire.Then my legs is like no energy to walk but still can walk la...Think will be ok tomorrow la,no panadol to eat only got coke with salt to drink.Maybe after another good long sleep then i will be fine.Now my head very hot...How come the temperature won't go down????
Actually i think that i am sick because i ate too much chocolate.Maybe sitting just below the cold air-con was another reason to my sickness.Why am i so unlucky to get sick??This morning during CCA Open House that time i was ok what, how come get home then sick le???I hardly got sick lor.Must be retribution,haiz...
Okay, this will be all today...Want to go and rest le... Good night.
Joyce signing off...

Today can say it's an official first day of school as we started to study only today.Done quite a lot of work today.Written a chinese composition and got chemistry homework. Done half of the chem work le.I think i really must work hard le and i am serious this time.If not i will die le if i don't study this year.

Well, i written alot on my last entry.I just have to much feelings to pour out.I am glad to have some ppl who care for me though, i thought that no one would...

Ermm,i want to apologise to someone though there is 99% chance that you will not see this.I am sorry i have done that.I am partly at fault too not only her.

Ok, thats all today.
Joyce signing off...

Well, its like 12 plus in the morning now.Think will sleep at about 3-4 plus ba.Eating chocolates now, i just can't resist them when i want them.
Just finished reading the blogs of some 2/4'04 ppl.Had many feelings and thoughts.I regret not trying to interact more with all the ppl in 2/4'04.I think i have to blame myself for that.I just don't know why.Ever since pri 5 or maybe earlier, i have been like that.I have lost myself since then.
I am just contented to have a few close friends.In my pri 5 and 6 year, i was lucky to have Siew Hwee with me and some others.Got better in secondary school.Had more friends.However, there is still something missing.Its not the real me who are having these friends.Its the me who is trying to hide or maybe protect the real me who is having these friends.
Nobody knows the real me, not even myself.I have lost myself and i think that it is very very difficult to find the real me back.I was like thinking why is this happening to me, why can't i just have a normal life, a normal family and why can't i be a normal person.
Sometimes there are many things that you can't bring yourself to say as you don't want anyone to know what the hell has happened to you.The results is that you have to suffer alone. It does not matter when you are alone.Sometimes when you are alone, you are more comfortable and you don't suffer as much.
Sometimes i was thinking why am i here un this world?Did heaven sent me here to suffer?I thought of leaving this world for many times thought its less than 10 times.However, i don't have the courage to do it.Whenever i think of leaving, i will be thinking that i should not leave so early, i should stay on and experience life.Its like i am still so young and i don't know what is life yet, how could i leave like that.If i am not wrong, thats the real me telling the lost me all the thing to prevent me from leaving.
Ppl reading this might think that i am mad or just writing crap but i am serious.If you guys knew what i had done in the past, you will be miles away from me.Maybe you don't believe it but don't believe in what you see and heard,believe in what you feels.
I miss myself,the real me.
To evon, jean , xiangjun and lin xiu,
Things will not be the same from now onwards.Though we can still stay together, but things will really never be the same.So treasure what we have now or one day we will find that what we used to have is gone.Lets try to keep us together ok?I will really miss you guys now that we are in different classes.Though you guys are still near me, i will still miss you guys like we are in different parts of the world.I hope that our friendship will stay firm always.

Came back from the camp today.Quite tired cause lack of sleep.Actually not lack of sleep la just did not sleep well.The camp quite fun and it is really a leisure camp to me.I think i enjoyed the nature walk and the abseiling the most la.It's also very lucky that we have dorms to sleep in though is sleep on the floor.Then almost everyone got sleeping bag to sleep in and i don't have one.So it's very cold during the night for me. But i think its very good le la got a roof over my head.Cause i am used to sleeping on floors during camps le.
*Sigh*Tomorrow must go school early in the morning, don't really feel like going to school.Still got NP training somemore.I just have this uneasy feeling for this year.Somehow i feel that i am not going to have a good time this year.
Now my idoit brother is nagging and nagging me to give him use the com.He is using a fake axe those got air inside one to hit me.24 years old already still so childish.Haiz...Never mind since that i am used to it le...This is one of the advantages to have 3 brothers.You don't like this one still got another two.Lucliky This idoit 2nd brother of mine is quite nice though he's quite lame.Better than my eldest and third brother.
Well thats all for today.Must return the computer to my 2nd brother, cause the computer he buy one so he want to use cannot say no...
So, Joyce is signing off now......