Forest~Joyce

It had been a week since i last upated.
And the few previous posts is like all boring posts, nothing about me...

I think i am someone who's suited to live in a world of my own...

I have been rotting at home almost the whole hols except for the 4 days where i went to work and the few days i went out with my friends...Not that i have no contact with anyone. I have been chatting online most of the time. I realised that i felt more comfortable chatting online, through sms and the phone. I can kind of speak more freely and voice out what i want to say through these methods. It's different from speaking face to face. It's like people are able to see through you easily when you speak to them face to face. There's this invisible pressure as you kind of have an image to keep...

Well, with the exceptions of really close friends.

But i can say that no one really understands me... Even my closest friends who knew all about my background, my family... Because even I don't understand myself.

I am just alone, living in my own world...

Stepping out once in awhile to tell people that i am still alive, don't worry about me...

The loneliness that i felt, is not because that i don't have any friends that cared. I do have friends who care and i am grateful for that. The loneliness that i felt is that i am not needed, not required, insignificant, my existence have no meaning, i am just useless...

That's why i am trying hard, to prove my existence. To show that i am useful in some way or other.

I belive that I can and I will be able to do it!!

"If I have the belief that I can do it,
I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it
even if I may not have it at the beginning."
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~