Forest~Joyce

I seriously hate my family.
It's freaking not like a family at all.
It's just a few people who hate each other living together.
The only thing that is in common is the stupid blood relations...
I would gladly donate all my blood away in exchange for ant other bloods.
I hate this dirty blood flowing in my veins right now.

People normally said that if given a choice, every baby would want to be borned. I disagree...
If i knew what kind of mess i am to be facing, i would rather die in my mum's womb or get aborted.

I bet that in other families, no matter how bad the situation is, it can't be worse then mine.

If those myths about past lives and recarnations is true...
I seriously wonder what have i done in my past ife to deserve all this torture...
What have i done to be borned into a family like mine...

Maybe it might not be even considered as a family at all...

There's a chinese saying which is '家永远是我们的避风港' which i totally don't believe in.
In my case,‘ 家是所有暴风雨的开始’.

I can't remember how many times i have cried over family problems or things that happened in the family. It's just too many times.
I can hardly remember the times when i am actually happy at home... Maybe i am never happy at home...

To me, home is just like a cage to me...
Everytime i stand at my house gate, looking at my neighbours birds in their cages, i somehow can relate to them...
We are all longing for freedom...

Just a few more years...
When i am able to be really independent...
I will start to rebel...
Don't expect me to sit at one corner and cry anymore...
I will not let anyone accuse me of anything that i have never done before anymore.
I will make them regret...
I will have my revenge...
Regardless of the price...
I have nothing to lose...